I HAD A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
Waiting for a bus on the way to see Santa,
a woman with dark eyes and a face full of life
grabbed my arm, and placed a locked case
in my hand, yelling: I have some TIPS for you!
She jumped on the bus and left me standing
with my mouth wide open.
I had no idea what she was talking about,
and wondered what could be in the case?
Could they be hot stock tips, a Jockey’s hunch
about the Kentucky Derby, gratuities earned
as a waitress, or a bunch of foreskins collected from a mohel?
After busting open the lock, the tips were revealed:
Treasury-Inflation-Protected Securities.
How in the world did that old lady know
I was afraid of going broke in my old age?